Working eight hours today will become increasingly interesting as the day goes by due to this saboteur neck muscle that now allows a more practical range of movement--but it's stiff like a dead body and the pain has increased when it doesn't move. Lucky for the neck, I don't work the rest of the week. But goddammit, I don't work the rest of the week. Thursday night there's a show and a good chance I won't be able to perform in it. Friday night is the show and there's a good chance I won't be able to perform in it. Friday is my brother's birthday. I think tickets to the Tori Amos show on November 7th go on sale soon, and I don't think I'll have money for that, either. I want a new job and I want normal cranial rotation without a fuss and I want more money and normal hours and to be in the show and really I wouldn't care if I could lay down and forget it all and let the hours roll by and not care that it's 5am in the morning because I'm happy you're happy we're all happy. There's always one thing at the top of my list and if I had it as often as I wish, nothing would ever get done.

But maybe then I could ignore this flower (yes we'll call it a flower to try to desensitize it oh it's a pretty little thing..just.. reaching out.. with petals.. to kill me..) growing in my neck and that is what today is all about. I just have to make it through eight hours.

...

..help.