maybe i am into selftorture. and turns out this wasn't a christmas card, i lied, it was from when he left. and turns out i didn't make up that 'in bed with someone else' card either. i suck. anyway. here's this.

ver1 5-25-99

sara,

well I think your card will be the longest, I have a lot to say to you surprisingly.

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I wish I had a better pen. found one, however now my handwriting abilities will decrease rapidly.

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I can't really say we have had a lot of fun but it hasn't been too bad.

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Drama class was cool as was Halloween and some other shit.

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Well at this point you already have the longest card.

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Grrr getting off track

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I really did love you, I think. I am glad I got over that though because I realized love really sucks alot of ass and I am going to straight to the point: lust is far superior.

I don't really know what else to say right now I am sure everything will come to me later.

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Did I ever mention I hate my family?

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Sadly I am gonna miss my friends: Matt, Paul, You and Ashley.

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Proud to find your name in that list huh?!

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I printed up 10 of these things to give to people but I am only going to use 5-6 I bet. Want the spares?

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ver2 5-26-99

I guess what I wanted to say was thanks for being there for me. You were usually there to laugh at me when I wasn't being too bright. Wow you must have nearly died laughing. (read it again) Well, I appreciated it. You know alot about me that others don't and if you tell anyone that I will deny it like Roswell (which never happened, BTW)!! You probably won't miss me but that is ok I don't think anyone but Matt really will. It is all good, yo!! So I guess what I am trying to say is have fun. I wish I had some special advice to give you but I am not one with words. Be yourself as cliched as that is it is very important. What you are @ TSHS is probably not who you will be when you get out. In a way I will miss this place but it is better I leave and corrupt some nice girls in the Navy instead. The following is the most important thing I have to say to you:

I'm sorry.

Trout.

i never did understand what he was sorry for.

at least i'm not crying this time.