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i dreamt

17 July 2002
4:44 am

it gets more difficult as you get older

so many pages were written before i even opened the book

and i just want to scribble my name all over

i had to get out of bed so i could finish without falling asleep because i wanted because i have had this low and deep vacuuming in my stomach since i got home and it is eating me and makes me write things like "..and really I think if I were going to be murdered I wouldn't mind as long as my heart were ripped out and I could see it pulsing.." because really wouldn't THAT be the way to go and i haven't felt like myself since i got home and this wasn't supposed to be long but

Tonight was simple and short and wonderful

not like this

but it went from feeling like sunrise to 9pm at night but REALLY, HONEY. it is five am. get a hold on.

i started this last night and now it is so much later so i will just say that those goodbye kisses could bring me to my knees. bunnies don't climb trees. lightning! and then he'd smile. and the continuing cycle was enough to liquify diamonds

i want these things to work

you