Someday I will be able to sit on my own couch and have endless conversations until morning without having to wait for the phone to ring and then and only then will I sit down and shutup. Count backwards from five all you fucking want but the fact that I got in the car and drove away resides heavily on the fact that I am emotionally involved and therefore cannot make the neccessary sacrifices. Tug of war over the power neither of us would know what to do with if we were deserving of it but we push and we pull and we pull and you push and keep fucking pushing cause one of these days I'm gonna react. So subtle and mundane and exactly what I'm supposed to do and no blood on the floor but I am not going to be around forever.

You and I we play the same games, textbook examples of a push and pull tug of war living breathing bleeding dying symbiotic relationship. Parasite to host and back again but the distances and colored shapes are blurred and who is who? Are they, in fact, canceled out by each other and we are in fact normality and not some particularily unusual novelty store item made of cheap plastic but held with so much tenderness.