This is why MY grandma is cooler than your grandma:

Auto response from SARA: viva la idleness! oh, come on, like it's a big surprise. i'm probably in the other room or asleep or kidnapped by large men named brutus who have half a mind to take me out to the woods and cut off my head and mail it somewhere half way across the world and whoever opens it will sell it for 400 pieces of their currency as a nice mantlepiece.

GRANDMA: grandpa, will have it put on a plaque, but no tongue hanging out