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Not-so-ready for takeoff

06 February 2020
11:37 am

If I get this bit of sadness over just leaving for a week, I'm not sure how i could be considering temporarily relocating back to Florida. Let's say "extended trip" over "temporary relocation," though they both end up representing the same currently unestimated amount of time.

I scheduled the trip quickly so I could stop pouring over the issue: grandma B isn't doing well, and doesn't feel like she's getting the level of care she needs. Her basic needs are met - the kids come and prepare meals, they take her to the doctor - but she's alone most of the time and depressed, especially in comparison to the 24/7 companionship she has up north.

Her kids are adults (obvs) with their own families and busy lives, and they're doing the best they can... and then there's me, with a mutable life, who could potentially get her through the next few months until she could go back up, if she even can.

So I took some xmas monies and scheduled this investigative trip, and have been saving since then, in the event I go back down right away.

It's an interesting thing to come up now, as I have set myself on this path of boundaries and figuring out what is appropriate to do for people and under what circumstances, and how much of myself to give in the process. I was able to put the thoughts on the backburner after I bought the ticket, but now that I'm boarding a plane in a few hours, I'm a little nervous.