close my eyes and shut out the rest. lock the door one more time. again. again. again.

if these nights fall on the same time everytime, maybe i should think ahead to just sleep through till morning. but i have no concept of time so i never have them pinpointed, only feel they're getting closer together. closer and closer contracting and waiting to give way, waiting to give birth to something final.

or not. i'm dramatic histrionic delusional unusual fragmented off-the-wall and almost always not quite allright.

now. would you then have me any other way?