I am in a terrible, piss poor mood right now. And I couldn't give you the slightest clue as to why if I cared to.

Sean left today to go back to Orlando. Yeah, I miss him, but he'll be home this weekend. That's not it.

Am I that worried about RenFest? No. That's not it either.

It's not that I'm turning 18 in ten days, that mom's moving away in February, that I'm graduating in a few months, that's I'll be on with my life, or that there's this nasty itch on my wrist.

It's none of these things. All I know is that I'm feeling quite terrible and pessimistic and I just want to smash things and say 'fuck' a lot. 'Fuck' is a limbic (limpic? I could never remember) system thing though, so I understand. Why I want to say 'piss poor' a lot is just beyond me.

The only thing I'm positive is pissing me off is the fact that I have to go to school in two and one quarter hours. And the fact that I am ALREADY almost completely ready. I made a huge mistake in not going on Friday. I was tired and sick, so when my mom said yes to my plea to stay home, I went back to sleep without giving it a second thought. Now I've got five days. Even if I get B's (HAHA) in those devil classes, I won't be able to exempt. Screw you, block scheduling. Anyhow, I've got seven school days left until I'm home free. But now that I already can't exempt, it's making it completely unbearable to go. ARgh. I aggravate myself to no end sometimes. And as each day goes by, I tell myself that I care less and less about the whole thing. But I get sappy when I look at Sean's yearbooks and such. But I'm still very angry with the whole thing. Maybe I just want to be angry.

But despite all that.. it's still not what is making me feel piss poor. Maybe the problem is that all of this stuff really isn't affecting me. Maybe I'm completely neutral on everything, and school was just the easiest to pretend to care about. That doesn't explain my apathetic view towards actually attending, but when have I ever wanted to go to school?

Jon Spencer Blues Explosion is helping a little bit.

I think part of the problem is that I went for three eggs earlier, and there were only two left. Yes. I believe that is my issue here, and the main contributer to my anger.

Fuck. I still have so many people to call on the invitee list to my birthday party. Ugh. What I do know, is that the Charming Hooligans will be there, which makes me genuinely happy. Then I remember that I'll have two exams on my actual birthday. Excuse me while I tear my skin off my hands.