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msg on the dl
random! older


13 October 2020
3:44 am

so far, the hardest part about deactivating fb has been not knowing if anyone has noticed or had a reaction

it seems doubtful
and I'm sure it will pass

I think it's legitimately funny that enough guilt and shame can make someone think about wanting to die, but the guilt of causing reactions would stop them from furthering those thoughts
Anyway, that passed
We'll try to avoid it circling back around
but if we don't
it'll pass again, too

Sorry, sorry
But there's too much going on everywhere
to say these words directly to anyone

In the dreams, again my heart swells and breaks
I run through dust and behind stages
I'm late for planes, I'm late
I run and run, my heart swells and breaks

I'm determined to write down meaningless numbers
Shops are open but no one is selling
And I will keep everything

[edit: someone noticed
and by writing that as I was falling asleep I gave myself stronger, even weirder dreams of the same variety]