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RING RING and i sat up and looked at the clock and i realised i was very late for class. SHIT. RINGRING. hello? "sara? are you still-" yeah, i just woke up, i fuckin' missed my class- "well, it might have been canceled" huh? why? "a plane crashed into the world trade center." what the fuck are you talking about, that's not poss- "one hit the pentagon, too." as i was on the phone with becca, who was en route from class, nicole had come in my room and ordered that i tune in. i hung up the phone and went into the her and amanda's room. fire & smoke & general DISBELIEF & not one, but TWO planes, not one building, but BOTH. becca opened the door to the room and suddenly i realised that i knew people who worked for the government. i ran to my room to call my dad. he assured me that those we knew worked in the white house and not the pentagon. morning coffee tasting like death. he talked about what he'd seen on the news this morning, since i was soundly sleeping through tragedy. he talked of the first building collapsing. oh yeah, i said. they're replaying it.. right.. oh fuck. lskjf? that's the second building, isn't it!? he confirmed as i watched one of the most devastatingly beautiful scenes i have ever been privy to. what a beautiful day. what a... tragedy seems like too small of a definition. for the past two days, all day. every waking and unconcious hour. in orlando, back at home. i listened. i watched. the images of planebombs and two buildings eating themselves continued to be replayed. voices of anonymous faces on the radio over&over, the same sentiments echoed what i was only beginning to realise i felt. never have i felt such sorrow. never have i felt such fear. never have i been so confused. as well.. never. have i felt. so fucking american. praying, hoping, wishing, FEELING; never have i felt so connected. and that is mind boggling.
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