Funny that I haven't seen The L-Word in almost five years and only saw it about three times, when I'd just started hanging with the lesbian circuit. I haven't seen this show since then and of course when I randomly turn it on, it's the last episode I saw, the one that fucked me in the head with its relevancy to my life at the time, the dying father, the youngish girl fucked in the head and acting out... I can't even really talk about it cause I'm watching it as I type this, probably to lessen the emotional impact... thank god for commercials to break up that energy, that old old energy that doesn't have the same effect on me anymore. I am happy for that. Now I view it from afar, at a distance, with squinted eyes

examining, not implanting

--same thing happens with Law and Order, you know? I never watch that show but if I happen to come upon it, it's always the episode where the one kid suffocates the other with the rocks from the schoolyard. and that just brings back the memories of all the children I murdered as a child, of course. ha ha

(but don't let me fool you, or rather, you better be sure: when I turned it on, this was the episode I'd hoped to see)