Listen I know I just said I wasn't going to talk about cleaning but I also decided I'd write like five of these to make up for my lack of writing, so I'll just cover it up with something else.

I really want to do something. I want to work on some writing. I want to work on some music. But it's like. The house has to be clean in order for me to function anymore. I can't sit still. Even this. I am finding this difficult, just this little moment to sit and jam out some little random thoughts cause it's so messy in here and around here and ah ah ah

I really hope it is not like this forever and by forever I mean until August when I am finally living alone for the first time in (by then) two and a half years (and by alone I mean with Kevin and isn't that an interesting shift in thoughts, no?), I mean, cause at least then there will still be cleaning but it will be so much easier for two people instead of five. Maybe then I will be able to sit down at the end of a day or a weekend and actually work on something

because I feel a great need to be producing, even if I'm still not sure what it is I am meant to be producing

but I need to create it and share it, get it out of me and give it to someone else

ahhhh-oh oh